Positive or Positively Jealous

jealousyAs a girl chances are you have a variety of friends. There is the friend who’s more like a sister, the one who inspires you, the one who’s fun to party with, and unfortunately one who’s competitive. Sometimes a little competition is good for us. It motivates us to workout, eat healthier, work harder, and/or live better. Other times a competitive friendship is unhealthy.

When a Competitive Friendship Turns Unhealthy

If the competition is one-sided it’s often due to jealousy. One friend becomes jealous of the other for one reason or another. Unfortunately anything can spark jealousy: a new job, a good relationship, a beautiful home, success, beauty, the list goes on. Normally we’re happy when positive things happen for our friends, but a jealous friend only sees a list of things they can be envious of. Instead of looking for ways to congratulate you, they’ll think of ways to undermine, get what you have, or one up you.

How do I fix a friendship with a jealous friend?

If you have been friends with someone for years, ending a friendship can be heart breaking. Before ending a friendship, try to figure out how you can mend what has been broken. Consider why your friend may be acting jealous. Has she been struggling to find employment for months, while you just scored an amazing opportunity without even looking? Is she struggling with weight problems, while you are able to eat whatever you want and stay thin?

There are certain things we can change in live, but others like metabolism, we can’t. You should be able to enjoy your successes and your joy with your closest friends, not be afraid they’ll turn it into a competition. If a friend can no longer be supportive it’s time to reconsider the terms of your friendship.

How to Restructure a Friendship

Sometimes you just need to distance yourself while your friend works out their issues. If you’ve been there for your friend, but the jealousy and negativity remain, there’s nothing left for you to do but take some time away. If you used to speak every day, try only talking once or twice a week. If you hung out every week, try seeing them once a month or at special occasions.

Try letting your friend know how you feel, let them know that you’ve reached a point where you’re considering ending your friendship. This might not go over well at first, but over time a good friend will be able to recognize their mistakes. Be patient with your friend, especially if their jealousy has been sparked by hard times.

If your friend is just jealous by nature, and has never been able to happy for you, it’s time to say goodbye. The older we get the less time and patience we have for people who can’t contribute positivity to our lives.

We never want to end a friendship, but sometimes it’s what has to be done. Let us know how you’ve dealt with jealous friends in the past.

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