Dear John Stamos

Posted on February 7, 2013 by Meshell McKinley

Sorry Mr. Stamos

Dear John,

Sometimes I’m down for Greek yogurt, but sometimes I want cake. Yes, you’re incredibly handsome. Yes, I have had a crush on you since your days on Full House. And no, I still can’t believe Rebecca left you, even if it was for Jerry O’Connell. However, sometimes a girl just needs a piece of cake.

That being said my current obsession is Greek yogurt. Growing up in a 1/2 Persian household we called it “Persian Yogurt” or “must“. We put it on rice, mix it with cucumbers, eat it in our soup. It’s kind of a garnish of sorts or appetizer. We do not however mix it with fruit. When I first tried this “Greek yogurt” with fruit I was like, “What the…?” I was used to having it with savory items, so it was a bit shocking to my taste buds. Then as I got used to the flavors, I grew to enjoy it.

Currently I’m eating the Dannon Light and Fit Greek Yogurt. Sorry Mr. Stamos again, I know you advertise Oikos, but at least they’re both Dannon products. I admit I haven’t gotten to trying Oikos yet, but the Light & Fit version has me hooked. What Dannon has done is create a yogurt that has under 100 calories and seven grams of protein. You would think at 80 calories the portion size would be tiny, but that’s the beauty of Greek yogurt. It has less fat and fewer calories than your typical diet yogurt. I don’t know about you, but after a cup of Yoplait I’m like, “Did I just eat something?” I end up using my spoon to try to scrape up anything that may possibly be left in there.

That’s not the case with the Light and Fit Greek Yogurt. After a workout at the gym I’m pretty hungry. I workout in the evenings typically, because I work full time. The best way to gain weight is to eat late at night, but it’s hard to get to sleep when you’re feeling maximum hunger. Plus, you’re supposed to have protein after you workout. The solution: I have a Dannon Greek Yogurt and a protein bar. Combined they’re around 25 grams of protein. I’m full, I haven’t had too many calories, and I’ve taken care of my after-work0ut protein need.

While Greek yogurt is a great healthy treat, it will never replace “real” deserts. If you substitute during the week, you can treat yourself to something sweet during the weekend. Life is about moderation. If you want to stay on a healthy diet for the long run, you can’t deprive yourself. Enjoying the delicious things in life isn’t naughty. The French eat pastries, the Italians eat gelato, the point is to have a little here and there and not over-indulge. Have some Greek yogurt when you’re trying to shed the pounds, and treat yourself to some stellar sweets on “Heck Yeah” days. I call them Heck Yeah days, because the term “cheat day” makes it sound like you’re doing something bad. It can ruin your mood/self esteem, and also because on these days I say “Heck Yeah” to what I want.

Check back with MeeshMe soon to learn some more great weight loss tips.

Valentine’s Day: Dinner

Posted on February 7, 2013 by Meshell McKinley

With Valentine’s day swiftly approaching, I thought I would share some romantic dinner date ideas with you. I know it’s traditional to have the man plan the date, but let’s face it sometimes he needs a little help. I admit I can be hard to please, so it’s much easier on my poor boyfriend if I give him at least a few options to choose from.

Over the years I have had the pleasure of dining at these locations, and enjoyed my experience well enough to share them with you. If you live in Los Angeles you must give these restaurants a try, if not for Valentine’s Day on your next romantic dinner date with your man.

Smoke House

Located in Burbank, California near the Warner Brother’s studio lot, Smoke House might as well be a historic landmark. Open since 1946, the Smoke House has been a popular destination for producers, celebrities and families alike. George Clooney loved the restaurant so much he named his production company after it. The exterior of the restaurant looks like a charming old fashioned home, while the interior is cozy and romantic. Unlike the lighting at your typical chain restaurant, the dim lighting is relaxing (and much more forgiving). It doesn’t get much more classic than the Smoke House. During Valentine’s Day the restaurant kicks it up a notch with special seasonal decor and a special menu. The tables surrounding the fireplace are extra romantic, and can be requested when you make your reservation. The menu offers traditional steakhouse fare. You will have your choice of steaks, prime rib, seafood and chicken options, but what the Smoke House is really famous for is their garlic cheese bread. Diners who sit down to dinner between 3 p.m. to 5 p.m. on February 14th receive 25% off the Vday menu. If you would prefer to go for drinks, or are looking for some entertainment, the Smoke House lounge offers live music Thursdays through Saturdays. You can view the music schedule here. If you are looking for a great place for Sunday brunch stop by the Smoke House Sundays between 10 a.m. and 2:30 p.m.

Takami

Located in Downtown, Los Angeles Takami holds special significance for me. It was the place where my boyfriend and I spent our first date. The views from Takami are spectacular, with large windows overlooking the skyscrapers of Downtown L.A. Whether you sit inside or outside, you will be able to enjoy the magnificent view. I prefer to dine here for dinner, because the view is more spectacular at night. I have to admit I am not a fan of sashimi, but I do enjoy a good roll. The sushi rolls were delicious, and the portion size was reasonable for the price. If you’re date isn’t into sushi there are quite a few non-sushi items to enjoy as well. You can view the menu here. If you’re not hungry, stop by for a cocktail. The cocktail menu is extensive and unique. The restaurant is offering a special Valentine’s Day cocktail and desert for patrons spending the occasion with them. Takami doesn’t come cheap, but it’s no more expensive than any other similar establishment. The spicy tuna on crispy rice is $14 for example, and sushi rolls will cost you between $6 and $15.

Yamashiro

Yamashiro Hollywood

What can I say about this Palace in the hills. Yamashiro means “Mountain Palace” in Japanese. It was the dream of the Bernheimer brothers in 1911 to build a hilltop mansion 250 feet above Hollywood Boulevard to house their priceless collection of Asian treasures. Hundreds of skilled craftsmen were brought from the Orient to recreate an exact replica of a palace located in the “Yamashiro” mountains near Kyoto, Japan. This dream became a reality in 1914.” To learn more about the history of this one of a kind restaurant check the history page. I first came across this restaurant when I was doing a search for my boss. He wanted to take his girlfriend somewhere romantic, and I found Yamashiro. I finally ate here with my boyfriend on her 2nd year anniversary. The restaurant itself is huge, and truly looks like a Japanese palace. The view from our table was unbelievable with windows facing Downtown L.A., Hollywood, and Century City. The sparkling lights of the city made the experience magical. The menu is quite extensive, with plenty of pricey dinner options for the diner less interested in sushi. We ordered five sushi rolls to start, and the fried chicken bites. The chicken was delicious, and the breading was unlike any chicken strips I have ever tasted. The sushi was so large, we couldn’t eat anything else. The spicy tuna rolls on crispy rice were amazing, and much larger than the portions you get at other well known Japanese restaurants. Most of the sushi was topped with caviar, but if that’s not your thing you can ask to have it served without it. My favorite part of the meal was desert. I am a lover of sweets, and my dessert was amazing. We ordered the s’mores fudge brownie which consisted of a warm chocolate brownie, topped with toasted marshmallow, and accompanied by a graham cracker and cookie dough ice cream. It was insanely good. The restaurant is providing a special Valentine’s Day menu which you can view here, but it doesn’t come cheap at $99 per person. During the summer the Japanese garden and pool bar are open as well.

The Castaway

In the hills of Burbank sits The Castaway. A hidden gem, the Castaway also features amazing views of the city. The palm trees on the property combined with the architecture take you back to 1950s Hollywood glamour. The location is so beautiful that many couples plan to have their weddings here. I had the opportunity to have Valentine’s Day dinner here once before, oddly enough with my parents and brother. It wasn’t exactly the most romantic dinner date, but I was still able to enjoy the great food and ambiance. The menu features prime cuts of steak, seafood, and chicken dishes. Soups, salads, and pasta dishes are served as well. Dinner is naturally more costly than lunch, so if you are on a budget you might want to make it to the restaurant during lunch hour. Steak dishes are between $30 and $38, seafood dishes are between $29 and $49, and pasta is between $17 and $38 for the seafood pasta. To view their full menu visit here. If you plan on visiting the restaurant on Valentine’s Day be sure to make a reservation. The special Vday menu can be viewed here.

Check back with MeeshMe tomorrow for Valentine’s Day dinner ideas for those of you on a budget!

The Hair Bow

Posted on February 5, 2013 by Meshell McKinley

Cute & Functional

My boyfriend just started a new job at Disney. He was showing me their newly developed web page dedicated to Disney Princesses. If you’re a Disney Princess fan, or have a little girl at home, you should definitely check it out.

There is a portion of the website where you can access videos from “Cute Girl Hairstyles”. They feature videos on how you can achieve the Princess Jasmine look, or get a braid like Rapunzel. I watched a video where a mother gave her daughter a hair bow. It was cute, and simple, and I thought why not give it a try?

It was really simple to achieve this look. It literally took me under five minutes, and it stayed the whole day without hair spray. I workout every day, and I’m always frustrated with my hair. My bangs are falling in my face, the bun is coming undone, the ponytail is whipping my face. I wore the hair bow to the gym, and it stayed in place the entire time. I was able to get my workout in, and not worry about my hair. If you have little girls who are active, you have to try this hairstyle on them.

All you need to achieve this look is: a hair tie, two to four bobby pins, and hairspray (if needed).

Watch the video Here.

Curling Wands: Why You Can Throw Away Your Curling Iron

Posted on February 3, 2013 by Meshell McKinley

For waves

I hesitated to write about curling wands, because it seemed to me like an item that every girl had by now. However, throughout the past couple of months I was approached by women asking, “How do you get your hair to look like that?” When I mentioned the curling wand, they had never heard of it. I think I’ve helped sell quite a few curling wands in the past year or so, but really every girl should have one.

If you use a curling wand, you know the benefits over the traditional curling iron. I used to look at celebrities, and wonder how they got their hair so lush and wavy. Every time I attempted to curl my hair I would get the “George Washington” curl. It wasn’t nearly as sexy as I had hoped. Then I discovered the curling wand, and my life was changed forever.

Here are a few benefits of using a curling wand over a curling iron:

1) Better for Waves

Whether you are looking for a loose or tight wave, there is a wand for you. Curling irons are only superior if you’re looking for the Shirley Temple look. With a traditional curling iron you would have to curl your hair, then run your fingers through the curl several times in order to get a wavy look. With the wand you simple wrap your hair around the wand, hold, and release.

2) Healthier Hair

Curling irons traditionally take longer to curl hair. That extra time spent frying isn’t good for your luscious locks. With some curling irons you have to hold the hair to the iron for a minute in order to achieve a curl that will stay. With curling wands 10 to 15 seconds, and you’ve got a great wave.

3) More Time Efficient

It used to take me about an hour to curl all of my hair. I would have to start getting ready way in advance, and dreaded doing it. In order for a curl to hold I would have to separate my hair into very thin sections, taking up extra time I could be spending somewhere else. Now with the help of my wand my hair is done in about 20 minutes. The curling wand is more efficient, because I can use thicker sections and it only takes 10 to 15 minutes for a wave to take hold.

4) Longer Lasting Power

Even after spending an hour on my hair, my curls would be flat an hour into the evening. I have thin hair, so getting a big sexy look is hard to achieve. I would use tons of hairspray, and still my hair would go flat. With my curling wand, my hair stays wavy all night and I use little if any hair spray.

5) No Creases

While curling irons can leave behind dents in your hair, curling wands leave a smooth look each time.

Side Effects

There is one side effect I’ve experienced with my curling wand: BURNS. Tons of girls burn themselves every day with curling irons, so burns from a curling wand are nothing new. When curling your hair you have to be extremely careful. Each curling wand should come with a glove. Unlike a curling iron, curling wand users have to hold the hair in place. Creases are avoided, because there’s no metal or plastic clasp that comes down over the hair. Wearing the glove is important, so that you don’t burn your fingers, especially as you’re learning to use the wand. It’s also important to watch where you’re pointing the wand. If the wand touches your skin it will burn it. You may laugh now, but wearing a long sleeve t-shirt when first learning to use your wand can save you some pain later.

Once you get used to using your wand, you shouldn’t have a problem with burning yourself. It’s an easy and efficient way to achieve the look you’ve been attempting for years.

Here is an instruction video on how to use the wand, and here is where you can purchase a wand of your own.

Stop by the Meeshme blog tomorrow for more tips and tricks.

The Mr Collection

Posted on February 1, 2013 by Meshell McKinley

Borrow Cool Threads

My good friend Vladimir is quite the entrepreneur. His latest business venture is The Mr. Collection. Many women are familiar with Rent The Runway, well The Mr. Collection is the same concept but for men. In this economy affording designer clothing isn’t always possible. That doesn’t mean you can’t look your best. The Mr. Collection is a subscription based fashion rental company. You apply for a subscription, and gain access to great pieces of clothing. Whether you need to look great for your next interview or your first date with the girl of your dreams, The Mr. Collection can help.

Men let’s face it, sometimes it’s hard to dress yourself. When you don’t have a girlfriend or sister on hand to help, sign up for The Mr. Collection and get outfits picked out for you. A small questionnaire helps our fashion stylists get to know your personality and personal style. They can then put together outfits based on today’s latest trends.

To learn more about The Mr. Collection visit them today! It’s never too late to get fashionable.

Check back with me tomorrow for another Meeeeshme blog post.

The Mermaid

Posted on January 30, 2013 by Meshell McKinley

The Mermaid Look

Happy Hump Day everyone!

Ever since I was a little girl I’ve loved mermaids. It’s a love I share with thousands of little girls everywhere. I don’t know what it is about them. Maybe it’s that they are always depicted as such beautiful creatures, or that they get to live under the sea. Being in the water always felt like a second home to me. I loved swimming in my pool growing up, and taking trips to the ocean. It’s probably why I ended up attending college at Pepperdine.

My love for mermaids inspired today’s look. The top is a pearly white, and the shape reminded me of a sea shell. The sheer tan colored mesh in the center provides the sex appeal men often notice about mermaids. The bottom is a mermaid cut maxi skirt in deep blue. The skirt has two slits up either side of the front. I wore my hair with loose curls to finish the look.

Both the halter top and maxi skirt were purchased at Foreign Exchange in store. Affordable prices and attention to detail make Foreign Exchange a great place to shop.

Meeshiladas

Posted on January 25, 2013 by Meshell McKinley

Meeshiladas

It’s a cold and rainy day here in LA, and nothing tastes better on a day like today than something hot and cheesy. I’ve made my meeshiladas for lots of friends and family, and they always notice something different about the filling. My background is Persian, Italian and Irish so I really have no business making enchiladas. Except for the fact that these meeshiladas are drenched in enchilada sauce , and come topped with cheese, they are nothing like the Mexican recipe. They may not be traditional, but my guests enjoy them for what they are, meeshiladas.

To create a “meeshilada” you will need:

1 package corn or flour tortillas

1 package boneless skinless chicken breasts

1 can enchilada sauce (or you can make your own)

1 package Mexican Cheese blend, Mozzarella cheese, or Queso Fresco

1 bell pepper

1 onion

1 can black beans

1 jar salsa (hot or mild depending on your preference)

salt, pepper

minced garlic

First you’ll need to prep. Dice your onion and bell pepper. Open your can of beans. Take out your tortillas, and have them ready. Season your chicken with salt and pepper. Turn the heat on under your pan, and place a few tablespoons of butter or oil and your minced garlic onto the pan. Place your seasoned chicken into the pan, and start to cook. When the chicken has been cooking for five to ten minutes, or starting to get brown, add 1 jar of salsa to the pan. Let the chicken absorb the salsa. The chicken should start to become tender, at this point you can use your clean fingers or two forks to start to break apart the chicken. Add the diced onions, peppers, and black beans. Cook until the vegetables are soft on the outside, slightly brown.

Preheat your oven to 375. Poor a bit of enchilada sauce into a lasagna pan. Take your corn tortillas, and warm them up. You can do this over the stove or in the microwave. Heat them for under 30 seconds, just enough to soften them. You can poor enchilada sauce into a plate or a pan, and lightly coat the tortilla in the sauce. Fill the tortilla with your cooked mixture, and roll it. If your unable to keep the tortilla folded on its own, a toothpick will help keep it closed while cooking. Just remember to remove the toothpicks before you serve. When you have filled your lasagna pan with your rolled tortillas, top them with more enchilada sauce and Mexican Cheese blend. Cook in the oven until the cheese is melted, usually no more than 15 minutes. Serve with sour cream and guacamole.

What’s Wrong With Me?

Posted on January 22, 2013 by Meshell McKinley

How to Avoid too Much Mercury

Spicy Tuna I’ll Miss You

I am a chronic migraine sufferer, so when I had a migraine Friday night an hour after dinner I didn’t think much of it. My stomach felt a little upset, and my boyfriend wasn’t feeling too great either. We had just had sushi at Katsuya, and we wondered, “Did we get food poisoning?” Sushi is tricky, and we all know how easy it is for sushi to go bad, but Katsuya is supposed to be a quality establishment is it not?

When I got home I took an excedrine for my migraine, as I often do and fell asleep. I had anxiety the next day as well, and another headache. It’s now going on the fifth day, and I still have a headache, some anxiety, and nausea. I did research, and discovered I have mercury poisoning.

I have heard of mercury poisoning before, and heard that mercury exists in seafood, but never heard of the effects it can have on your brain. I figured I would be throwing up, or have symptoms similar to food poisoning. Never did I imagine it would cause headaches, anxiety, etc.

While I love seafood, the lesson in all of this is to be aware of the amount of mercury you digest. Mercury searches for fat to intrude. Since our brains our comprised of fatty tissue, the mercury finds it’s way into our brains affecting our thoughts and emotions. If you feel like you have mercury poisoning, consult your doctor.

Here is a list of fish and their mercury levels according to about.com:

LOWEST MERCURY

Eat 2-3 servings a week (pregnant women and small children should not eat more than 12 ounces (2 servings):

Anchovies
Catfish
Clam
Crab
Crawfish
Flounder
Haddock
Herring
Mackerel
Mullet
Oyster
Perch
Pollock
Salmon
Sardine
Scallop
Shrimp
Sole
Squid
Tilapia
Trout
Whitefish

MODERATE MERCURY

Eat six servings or fewer per month (pregnant women and small children should avoid these):

Bass
Carp
Cod
Halibut
Lobster
Mahi Mahi
Monkfish
Perch
Snapper
Tuna (Canned Chunk light)

HIGH MERCURY

Eat three servings or less per month (pregnant women and small children should avoid these):

Bluefish
Grouper
Sea Bass
Tuna (Canned Albacore, Yellowfin)

HIGHEST MERCURY

Avoid eating (everyone):

Marlin
Orange Roughy
Shark
Swordfish
Tilefish
Tuna (Ahi)

It’s important to remember that seafood is a healthy alternative to red meat. There are plenty of nutritional benefits to eating seafood, just remember to eat fish with low levels of mercury.

Skip the Chain Restaurant Game

Posted on January 21, 2013 by Meshell McKinley

You Get to Lick the Bowl

Sure cooking at home takes a little more work than driving to the Cheesecake Factory, but the results are worth the effort.

1) Mo Money in Your Pocket.

Eating out gets expensive, and these aren’t the times to be squandering your pennies on a meal you could create at home. Cooking can become expensive as well, but if you are smart about how you shop, you can definitely save a couple hundred dollars a month. There are few dishes that a restaurant can make at lower cost by purchasing in bulk, but most meals can be made at home at lower cost. Certain conveniences like pre-cut vegetables and fruits, and frozen pre-made meals can get pricey, so if you’re on a budget you will get much more for your buck by cutting your own produce.

2) Get Fresh with Me.

You would be surprised to learn how many restaurants use Campbell’s soup, or packaged pre-made sauces. If you’re going to eat these pre-made items, why would you spend $15 to $20 on a night at an Italian restaurant when you could spend $5 and eat from home. Those chain restaurants you love get their meals from test kitchens. A chef prepares the meals in a test kitchen ahead of time, the meals get packaged, frozen and shipped to your chain location where they then proceed to microwave your order. Doesn’t sound to appealing does it? Not to mention the fact that places like TGIFridays sells these same items at your local grocery store, and you can microwave the dish yourself and skip the tip. Taking the time to pick out fresh produce, meats, and cheeses will taste so much better on your plate.

3) That has HOW many calories?

Now that it’s pretty standard to display calorie amounts on restaurant menus, life has become pretty depressing. I find it very difficult to enjoy eating out when I can see that my one dish has more calories than I should be eating in an entire day. As someone who has lost over 85 pounds, calorie counting became an important part of my life. From the age of 16 I started researching how many calories are in food items. I know that a bean and cheese burrito I make at home has less than 300 calories, so why is it up to 900 calories when you eat out? And there is just NO reason why a salad should ever have 1,000 calories. When you prepare your own meals at home you can cut so many unwanted calories. Try cooking from home for one month, and see how much weight you lose.

4) Tip Yourself

Tipping has always been an interesting topic for me. I have a set of tasks I have to accomplish at work every day. Whether I am friendly and smile all day, or act grumpy, I’m going to get paid the same amount. If I decide to bring my boss his cup of coffee, or ask if he would like a refill, I’m not going to get paid any more. As a waiter/waitress you are being paid to serve people drinks and food. It is in your job description to bring them what they ask for, and check up on them. That is your job. The restaurant owner should be paying you an adequate salary for performing your job tasks. It shouldn’t be up to me to make up the difference for what your boss stiffs you on. Are you going to pay me extra when you see my ads on Google, because you think I’m not being paid enough for what I do? I don’t think so. That being said, I always tip around 18%. I know how it feels to struggle, and I’d be embarrassed if I tipped any less than what was standard. If I’m on a budget I won’t go to a restaurant. I won’t stiff on the tip, I just won’t go. If I make my own meal, I get the credit and I can save my tip.

5) The Wait

When I get really hungry I might as well be lost on an alien planet. I know I’m hungry, but I’m lost as to what I want to eat. I know I need food in me now, but that’s about it. My patience grows very thin, I feel weak, and I sometimes want to cry. So dramatic, but it’s true. When I’m hungry, and I walk into a restaurant where the hostess tells me it’s going to be 30 minutes to an hour for me to be seated, I want to throw my purse at her. Not only do you have to wait to be seated, you have to wait for the server to get to your table, take your order, get the food prepared, then bring it to you. In all that time I could have just fixed myself a sandwich at home in under 10 minutes.

Your Best Friend’s Boy Friend

Posted on January 18, 2013 by Meshell McKinley

Love is always cute…at first

When you have known your best friend from a young age into adulthood, you tend to meet quite a few men. These men can come and go as quickly (if not quicker) than the months of the year. Navigating your relationship with these men can get tricky. If you become to close to the boyfriend, and he becomes the ex boyfriend are you allowed to remain friends with him? If you keep a distance from your best friend’s new man to avoid drama will you be perceived as a bitch? Wasn’t it so much easier when it was just you and your best friend in the relationship?

The best way to deal with your best friend’s man is to know your best friend. That should be easy since you probably know her better than anyone else. You know what gets on her nerves, what annoys her, and you’ve probably been in this situation before. Look back on how she acted in previous relationships as an indicator of how you should act now.

That being said, there are some general tips on how to get through your best friend’s latest relationship. Here are a few situations that can occur, and how to get through them.

1) The Bad Boy

Sometimes your friend enters into a relationship with a guy you know is all wrong, and your girl friend knows it too. Problem is she doesn’t care. There once was a guy who told my friend upfront that he was living with someone else when he took her on their first date. He later told her about how he cheated on every girl he was with. Throughout the span of three years, he would hit her up every time he ended a relationship. In the third year he finally came to her with a proclamation. He claimed that he had realized that she was the one for him, and that he wanted the chance to prove his love for her. I knew he hadn’t changed, wouldn’t change, and couldn’t change.

The Answer: I kept it cordial with him, but I never got close. I didn’t spend much time with them as a couple, but when I did I had civil simple conversations with him, nothing deep. At the start of their relationship I expressed my concern, and gave her my opinion on the situation, then I was done. I let her live her life, and learn her own lessons. You can’t make anyone do anything, and the more you express your hatred for your best friend’s boyfriend the more strained your relationship will become. She learned the hard way that he couldn’t change when she found him in their apartment bedroom with another girl. There relationship ended, but ours didn’t.

2) The Buddy

In high school one of my friends got with a guy I was already friends with. As their relationship grew, so did our friendship. The three of us hung out all of the time. They were only together for one year when he went off to college, and they broke up. When their relationship ended, so did our friendship until two years later when he reached out to me. He had ended his relationship, apologized for being MIA, and wanted to reconnect. We had always gotten along really well, and I wanted to give him another chance. He was also interested in reconnecting with my friend, so we planned for him to come with us to a mutual friend’s party. They hung out at the party, and went to dinner shortly after. Fast forward years later, and my friend decided she had an issue with our friendship.

The Answer: You can’t always make everyone happy. In this situation I believed it was okay to remain friends with my friend’s ex. I think anytime you are friends with both parties in a relationship before the relationship started, you should have the ability to maintain both friendships afterwards. Her ex hadn’t treated her badly, and he was a very good friend to me throughout the many years of our friendship. Had she mentioned an issue earlier on I would have possibly ended the friendship, but the fact that she was mentioning it ten years after their relationship ended, felt unfair. Using her reaction to my friendship with her ex as an example, I never got too close to a man of hers again.

3) The Good Guy

Sometimes your best friend isn’t the one getting hurt, she’s the one doing the hurting. If your friend isn’t seriously in love with her man, you shouldn’t be either. Don’t get too close to a guy who your friend isn’t that into. She’ll end it with him quickly, and expect you to do so as well. Avoid the drama, and keep your distance. It’s important to be polite and friendly in his company, just don’t start planning tons of double dates.

4) The Guy You Used to Date

I will never understand this, but some friends get with guys you used to date. What’s even worse is when a friend dates a guy who bad mouthed her while you were together. I once had an on again off again friendship with a girl I worked with while in college. We were good friends in high school, but problems occurred when we started working together. She started to get jealous, and when I got promoted over her our friendship pretty much ended. While working together I started talking to one of our coworkers. I was just getting out of a tricky relationship, and wasn’t really interested. He was trying a little too hard to get me to go out with him, and it was coming off fake. He knew I was having problems with my friend, and so he thought by bad mouthing her I would like him more. I never understand his train of thinking. I told him that he wasn’t going to get anywhere with me by saying such horrible things about another person, whether or not they were on bad terms with me or not. Still he continued to say mean things about her looks, her attitude, and her personality. A couple of months went by, and nothing happened between us. He finally understood I wasn’t interested, and he backed off. One day I read my friend’s blog where she wrote about someone who sounded a lot like our coworker. I reached out to him, and discovered that it was true, he had asked her out. I couldn’t believe it, but he did. I tried to stay out of the situation, but one day she messaged me saying that she heard that me and him and dated, and that she wanted to know the details.

The Answer: In that situation I did what I will never do again. I told her that he had been interested in me, but that things never went farther than that. I told her that she should be careful, and that he was fake. She asked me to elaborate, but I didn’t feel comfortable sharing the things he had said. They were too mean, and I wanted to spare her feelings. I only said that he had said some awful things about her, and that she should talk to him about it. She did talk to him about it, and he confessed. She got with him anyway, and told me that I was just angry that a guy who liked me would like her. That ended our friendship for good. A few years later she wrote to me, and confessed that I was right about him, that she should have listened to me, and that she was sorry. I had no interest in becoming her friend again at that point. What I learned from that situation is that when a girl wants to be with a guy, she will ignore and resent every negative thing you have to say about him. Whatever you have to say will come off as you being jealous in some way. When someone asks your opinion you can give it, but then drop it.