I’ve neglected this blog the past few months as I managed my full-time job and planning my wedding. The wedding is now planned, and I can get back to posting about the things I love.
I’ll start by sharing my engagement story. My fiance and I met a little over three and a half years ago. At the three year mark our friends and family began to ask the awkward question, “so…when are you two going to get engaged?” Couples know that this is one of the most awkward questions to be faced with, especially if you’re both not on the same page. My fiance always answered that he “had something special planned,” so I wasted patiently, while I wondered what was going on in that brain of his.
The surprise of my life came in June when he surprised me with a diamond ring at the Mission Inn in Riverside, California. My family was there for the surprise, showering us with rose pedals once I said yes. The proposal was followed by a carriage ride around the city, a family dinner, and then champagne in our suite. It was a magical night, and a night I’ll never forget. See the pictures below!
If you have ever felt like you were just “an option” you know how amazing it feels to become someone’s priority. It is the difference between feeling liked and being loved. When you are afraid of being without someone, sometimes it’s easier to settle for being an option instead of waiting to become a priority. You feel like if you fight hard enough you’ll outlast or beat out the other “options”. More often than not this isn’t the case, and why would you want it to be? If someone is truly in love with you, they will commit and be faithful to you. They won’t even consider other options. It’s only when someone isn’t ready to commit that they consider other options.
Why do people engage in relationships with people unwilling or not ready to commit? While there are “plenty of fish in the sea” dating is often intimidating. People work longer hours these days, and social networking kills any sense of mystery revealing too much and ruining chances of relationship development. It’s hard for many people to make time for dating, let alone find someone they are compatible with. While the “search” often takes work, wasting your time with someone who isn’t ready to commit, or not capable of it, is pointless and tragic. When you consider that we only have one life, and that life passes by in the blink of an eye, why would you want to spend it with someone who doesn’t value you enough to be committed to you?
I was once caught in the trap of committing to someone who was unwilling to make me a priority. After so many years I learned from him how to make people options, never making any man a priority. It wasn’t until I found love that I was able to learn to commit again, and to make someone a priority. Once upon a time I fought hard for commitment only to fail. Now I wake up each morning as a priority. It takes time to find the one, but it’s always worth the wait.
The longer I am in a relationship the more I realize how overly dramatic I was while single. I was single for a while before and after my previous long term relationship. Single in that I wasn’t in a committed relationship. I dated, and I “saw” people for long periods of time, but went without calling someone my boyfriend for about three years. You can imagine how traumatic that first relationship was.
When that relationship was done I was left with a feeling that I wasn’t good enough. When the holidays came around I remembered that feeling, especially on Valentine’s Day. I felt that I had to do something or else I’d be at home questioning myself all evening. How ridiculous! Now that I’m in a healthy relationship, I remember what most holidays are about. When we’re kids we’re not thinking about the fact that no man/woman loves us romantically during Thanksgiving, Christmas, or New Years Eve. We’re excited to see our family, play with our cousins, our toys. On Valentine’s Day we pass cards to all of our friends. Why as adults do we put so much pressure on having love during the holidays?
As Valentine’s Day approached this year I couldn’t think of anything I necessarily cared to do. My boyfriend, in fear of disappointing me, threw a bunch of ideas at me. They were sweet and thoughtful, but I kept thinking about the crowds, the overpriced menus, the wait times, and I thought why? I have a great relationship I don’t need a dinner to tell me that. I’m fine with staying home, and getting a card. Then I think back to the Valentine’s Days I spent crying, or dreading, or caring way too much about. Funny how the holiday is no big deal now.
When you’re dating someone new or you’re single there’s a lot of pressure felt on Valentine’s Day. Just remember that even if a man or woman hasn’t said I love you yet, your family and friends have. You do have people who love you every day, celebrate that! One of the best Valentine’s Days (if not the best) I ever had was when I spent it in Las Vegas with two of my best friends. We bought sweets for ourselves, my brother bought me flowers, and we spent the night dancing away. Enjoy where you’re at in life right now, don’t worry about where you should be.
There’s no better way to spark up an evening of romance than with the right dress. In order to send your date the right signals, you’ll need the perfect outfit. Body language, conversation, demeanor they all contribute to the success of the date, but nothing communicated your feelings better than what you’re wearing. Men are visual creatures, so wear something he’ll remember you for. Not concerned with impressing him? Dress up for yourself! Picking the right ensemble will give you confidence, treat yourself to an evening of feeling great about yourself and the way you look. Going out with your girls? There’s no reason why you can’t dress in the holiday spirit, even if you are single! Here are some of my favorite romantic dresses, and where you can find them.